Keep the water in the tubby. That was the rule. It was a good rule. And it worked. Our little wild thing did not go to extremes splashing the water out of the tub and we were grateful. We repeated the rule a few times, but we kept it fun! Tubby time was enjoyable and a good time was had by all this way.

Of course we tried with other things to establish the rules. He listened most of the time, too.  But as he gets older… it’s not working out so much these days. Why is this? As I recall, I learned to follow the rules, and especially the rules my parents maintained around our house. As a teenagers, my brother and I still followed most of the rules. More importantly, we did exactly what our parents told us to do 95% of the time. We’re not getting as good results with our teenager today, we shake our heads wondering why, and we persevere.

Overtime, the rules became my own and my parent’s rules became my decision. I learned a lot that way. At sixteen, I feel much the same way about my son, Max. Except for the things we ask him to do for us, other choices are truly his to make. We’re teaching him that he must comply to our requests and we have to stay on him to get things done. This way, he is learning to respect authority and all kinds of important lessons that life will teach him in much harsher ways if we don’t. He also learns to live with his own decisions, as well.

My point, make the rules and enforce them, be reasonable and understanding. Ask that ‘it’ be done and keep track so you know. Be gracious with your gratitude and happy with their success. I truly believe in being ‘firm in a helpful way’ rather than becoming ‘that dictator’ that’s raising him.

Sure, we dictate now and then, but more often than not, we reason our way through each lesson we want Max to know. In reality, he’s doing really good and our patience is paying off immensely in his success. Yes! Score one for the Mom and the Dad.

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